I'm really into asian looking animals
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
