the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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