love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
