he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His nipple licking is glorious
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