I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's never too late to be topless.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
