I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
