what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
