you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
be right there i have to get my cape
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
