its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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