sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
