also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
