I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
