so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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