Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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