how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
