She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
