he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
