just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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