...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
