Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
