It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
