I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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