TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Two words: blizzard sex
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
