margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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