would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
