I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's official drugs can't kill me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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