We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
