Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
