Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
