I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just found a bag of teeth...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
