he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
