I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
