Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
false alarm, still single
Randomize
