This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
