Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My life is pants optional.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
