i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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