I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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