Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
