if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
