I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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