I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
