Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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