For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
