pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
