so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
