i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
