"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
