I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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