honey bunches of taint.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
