I got chris browned last night
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
