I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
