she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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