There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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